Do you like my short story?

Christmas Horse


Written By: Alexis R


“You have to take good care of that Saya. It belonged to me when I was a child.” Saya’s mother had just given her a beautiful clay horse with jewels for eyes, and black paint for fur. Saya looked at it in a daze.


“I will I promise Mommy!” Saya reached over to her mother and wrapped her arms around her. “Thank you so much Mommy!”


“Why don’t you go show Daddy?”


“Yes ma’am!” Saya ran into the kitchen, where her dad was busy making a Christmas dinner.


“Look Daddy! Look what Mommy gave me for Christmas!” Saya’s dad lifted her up onto the counter and looked at the small clay horse.


“Wow, isn’t this pretty? You better go put it somewhere safe!”


“I will Daddy!” Saya ran up the stairs to her small horse covered room. Saya lover horses, and always wanted one to take care of. Saya was only ten and couldn’t handle one yet. She always went out with her grandpa, and helped him take care of his horses. Saya went every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Every day she went she got ten dollars. Saya had been saving that money in her giant piggy bank, that way when her parents thought she was old enough to buy one. She’d been helping for two years now.


Saya struggled as she tried to put the little clay horse on top of her dresser. She finally did and took a step back to admire how it looked. Her attention was drawn to outside though. She’d heard a small whinny outside her house. There were no horses in the area, so she pulled on her coat and boots and went outside.


“Merry Christmas sweetie,” Her parents and grandpa stood outside in the snow, holding with a lead rope a beautiful black pony mare.


“Now you have to come over and help every day so you can see YOUR horse.” Her grandfather said. She simply stood on the porch, motionless. They could see that there were tears falling down her cheeks. She looked up.


“Thank you so much! But how did you get the money to pay for her?”


“We didn’t you did. You saved up all that money over these two years, you had enough to buy her.” Her mom answered. But before she could finish, Saya was hugging the Pony and family.

Do you like my short story?
um........ WOW, that just amazing, i love it!!!! it a great short story!!!!!! i just don't know what to say but WOW!!!!!!!!


GOOD JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply:ITS BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply:cute story! would make a good children's book. a tip: don't let the reader assume who is speaking, even though it is obvious. here is the story with grammatical and spelling edits:





“You have to take good care of that Saya. It belonged to me when I was a child.” Saya’s mother had just given her a beautiful clay horse with jewels for eyes and black paint for fur. Saya looked at it in a daze.


“I will. I promise Mommy!” Saya eagerly replied. She reached over to her mother and wrapped her arms around her. “Thank you so much Mommy!”


“Why don’t you go show Daddy?” said Mommy.


“Yes ma’am!” Saya ran into the kitchen, where her dad was busy making a Christmas dinner.


“Look Daddy! Look what Mommy gave me for Christmas!” Saya’s dad lifted her up onto the counter and looked at the small clay horse.


“Wow, isn’t this pretty? You better go put it somewhere safe!” answered Daddy.


“I will Daddy!” Saya ran up the stairs to her small horse themed room. Saya loved horses and ponies, and always wanted one to take care of. Saya was only ten years old and couldn’t handle one herself yet. She always went out with her grandpa and helped him take care of his horses. Saya went every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. She'd been helping Grandpa for two years now. Every day she went to help,she recieved ten dollars. Saya had been saving that money in her giant piggy bank; that way when her parents thought she was old enough to buy one, she would be able to buy it herself.


As Saya struggled to put the little clay horse on top of her dresser. She finally did and took a step back to admire how it looked. Her attention was drawn to outside, though. She’d heard a small whinny outside her house. There were no horses around where she lived, so she pulled on her coat and boots and went outside.


“Merry Christmas sweetie.” Her parents and grandpa stood outside in the snow, holding with a lead rope a beautiful black pony.


“Now you have to come over and help every day so you can take care of your own pony,” her grandfather said. She simply stood on the porch, motionless. They could see that there were tears falling down her cheeks. She looked up.


“Thank you so much! But how did you get the money to pay for her?” Saya questioned through damp eyes.


“We didn’t! You did. You saved up all that money over these two years, and you finally had enough to buy her. We took your money and bought her for you!” her mom answered. But before she could finish, Saya was hugging the pony and her family.
Reply:that must have took a long time to right good job it was a awsome story.
Reply:That was great nothing more special than something you work for
Reply:It is very nice. I only found about one sentence that didn't make much sense. I like to write horse stories too. I just finnished writing a 60 page book! I found it fun to write. I can see you share the same passion.





Good Luck %26amp; Happy Holidays!
Reply:I love it!!! I wish I could get a pony for Christmas!!!
Reply:GREAT STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



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